liliana

By Marcia Augustine The adage about a man not buying the cow when he can get the milk for free still holds true for the woman who wishes to stand apart from the crowd and marry her Mr. Right. If you have a permissive attitude and have sex too early in the courtship, you send signals that you dont value yourself enough to protect your emotions. As a result, you lower your emotional value in your partners eyes. Mr. Right wants to protect his wife, but youve got to prove youre worth his protection by valuing yourself enough to protect your own feelings. Most guys generally dont go in search of a free cow, but if you conduct yourself as one, they may not see you as anything more. Along with self-value comes the decision of how to know when its too early to become sexual with your new flame. What are the signs that youre about to rush into premature sex with a tempting but potential Mr. Wrong? Become familiar with this cheat sheet. Youve never been to his home. Is it because hes married or has a live-in girlfriend? Is his housekeeping so bad hes ashamed to have you over? If youve never been to his home, you dont know him well enough to have sex with him. Youve never had a date with him on a Friday or Saturday night or Saturday or Sunday afternoon. If you havent, its because he spends it with his wife or girlfriend, or he sees you as a convenient booty call, but not someone to share quality time. If he doesnt think youre worthy of his quality time, then he isnt worthy of having you at any other time. Youve never met his friends or family, or if you have, youve never been included in activities with them. This means youre a part of his life, but not the part that he shares with others. Is it because he doesnt plan for you to stick around a long time, or that he doesnt consider you to be his real girlfriend? Or is it because he doesnt know you well enough to introduce you to his group? Either way, its too early to have sex with him. You havent discussed safe sex or any sexual illnesses either of you may have. If you dont discover whether he has a sexually transmitted disease because youre too embarrassed or uncomfortable to ask, youll really find out what embarrassment and discomfort are once you contract his disease. Dont hope or assume hes healthy ask. If you dont, you may pay the price with your own sexual health long after hes gone. You dont have a commitment from him and are afraid to bring the subject up for fear of losing him. If youre afraid to bare your heart to him, you should also be afraid to bare your bod. Make sure the emotional intimacy and commitment are there before becoming physically intimate. You know or suspect hes married or has a girlfriend whom he hasnt left . . . yet. Why bother with a man who could be nothing more than a player who has you fooled for a time, or is confused about who he wants to be with? Get to the bottom of your suspicions so you dont waste time on a guy whos just playing around. You have his cell phone number, but not his home number. Because he doesnt want his wife or girlfriend to answer the phone when you call. If hes reluctant to give you his home number, be reluctant to go any further with him. You havent spent any holidays with him. There are plenty of holidays spread out through the year that will enable you to wait to see how he treats you. If he disappears on the Fourth of July, youll know hes either committed to another woman or has friends hed rather be with than you. Dont let him use his children as an excuse and if you havent met his children, then its too soon for the two of you to be having sex. You havent talked about which form of birth control to use or what you would do if you became pregnant. If you dont discuss birth control, he may assume youre on birth control pills while you assume hes going to wear a condom. If thats the case, then the two of you will end up discussing what to do with an unplanned pregnancy, so you might as well have the discussion while you still have control over the outcome of your actions. Mr. Right will respect and admire your own self-respect and caution. Hell see that you understand the serious nature of a sexual relationship. If Mr. Wrong becomes uncomfortable having these discussions, then hes proven that he isnt at the level where he can handle the intimacy of marriage. Alcohol or recreational drugs play a part in your courtship. Alcohol abuse and recreational drugs impair your judgment. Would you prefer to choose a partner through your own good judgment, or because you were under the influence? Whats called partying in your twenties and thirties can easily morph into problematic alcoholism or drug addiction after youre married. Having sex when you dont have your wits about you invites disappointment, failure and heartache into your life. Youre assuming hes Mr. Right. Youre acting upon certain smaller assumptions without taking the time to discover whether theyre true or not. These are conclusions youve drawn by assuming: He plans on sticking around. Hes able to or interested in meeting your emotional needs. He likes you as much as you like him. He sees the same future for your relationship that you see. Hes not seeing anyone else, because he likes you so much. You cant possibly imagine him wanting to be with anyone but you, since he feels the same about you that you feel about him. He isnt a part of your emotional protection. If you become sexually intimate with a man with whom you arent monogamous, then hes free to betray you at any time. Youre completely unprotected and wide open to getting hurt. Dont have sex and then ask him, Wheres this going? Have a relationship with him first that leads (or doesnt lead) to sexual intimacy as the physical expression of your emotional relationship. Becoming sexual before youre emotionally prepared for it means you gamble that his attitude toward your desirability as a wife isnt adversely affected. Otherwise, you may be treated as a stopping point on the way to his marriage, and not as his possible future wife. Also, you gamble that youve chosen correctly. Choosing a partner, whether for sex or forever, should never rely on a careless, poorly thought-out gamble. Dating Expert Marcia Augustine is the author of Emotional Wavelengths: How to Tune In Marriage to Mr. Right. Set for a Fall 2006 release, her book is currently available on her website at a special prepublication discount. Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Marcia_Augustine http://EzineArticles.com/?Twelve-Ways-to-Screen-Out-Mr.-Wrong-and-Screen-In-Mr.-Right&id=238723 phentermine 37.5 tablets no prescription phentermine diet pills no prescription phentermine diet pills no rx cheapest phentermine no prescription